When the "Wind-Down" with Wine Stops Working

05 May, 2026

By Gillian Brown

When the “Wind-Down” Stops Working

For a long time, I believed wine was my way to switch off.

At the end of a full day, decisions made, people supported, responsibilities carried and it felt like my reward. A line drawn between “work” and “me.” A way to take the edge off.

And for a while, it seemed to do the job.

But somewhere between my late 30s and early 40s, that relationship shifted.

I was more tired, even after a full night’s sleep.
My mood felt less predictable, shorter, sharper, sometimes unexpectedly low.
Sleep became fractured, waking in the early hours, mind racing.
And despite doing all the things we’re told support us, exercise, nutrition, keeping everything moving and I didn’t quite feel like myself.

Like many women, I put it down to midlife. Hormones. The sheer pace of modern life.

But what I didn’t realise at the time was this:

It wasn’t just my hormones adjusting.
It was the alcohol interfering with that process.

What’s Really Happening Beneath the Surface

Midlife is already a period of recalibration. Our bodies are working hard to find a new rhythm, particularly around stress, sleep, and hormonal balance.

Alcohol quietly disrupts all of that.

Not always dramatically. Often subtly, cumulatively.

It can fragment sleep, even if we fall asleep quickly often leading to that familiar 2–3am wake-up.
It raises cortisol, keeping the body in a low-level stress response.
It interferes with oestrogen and progesterone, amplifying mood swings, anxiety, and physical symptoms.
And over time, it can leave us feeling more depleted, not less, mentally foggy, physically flat, and emotionally stretched.

So, when women describe feeling:

• Constantly tired but unable to fully rest
• Slightly on edge, or not as resilient as they once were
• Foggy, overwhelmed, or just “not quite themselves”

…it’s often not just midlife.

And it’s certainly not a personal failing.

A Different Experience Is Possible

When I removed alcohol, what changed wasn’t just one area of my life, it was the baseline.

Sleep became deeper and more restorative.
My mood steadied in a way I hadn’t realised was possible.
The background anxiety softened.
Energy returned not in bursts, but consistently.

But more than anything, I felt back in sync with myself.

Clearer. Calmer. More able to meet the demands of life and work without feeling like I was constantly recovering from them.

An Invitation to Look Differently

For many high-functioning women, alcohol doesn’t look like a problem.

It looks like a well-earned pause.
A social norm.
A coping strategy that “works well enough.”

But sometimes, what used to work quietly stops serving us and we carry on out of habit, not awareness.

If any part of this resonates, it’s not about judgement or drastic change.

It’s simply an invitation to become curious:

• How do I actually feel after it?
• What might my body be trying to tell me?
• What would support me more, at this stage of life?

Because wanting to feel clear, steady, and energised isn’t indulgent.

It’s foundational.

And for many women, gently stepping away from alcohol isn’t about restriction, it’s about reconnection.

Motherhood, leadership, and life carry huge demands. Many women use alcohol to unwind. But when we create space to step back from it, even temporarily, something powerful happens — we reconnect with ourselves, and life begins to feel calmer, clearer, and more manageable again.